Dating with purpose and purity
A good deal of the pain we feel in our day to day lives comes from unmet expectations.
As an example, if my husband doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper I become upset, but only because I expect him to put them in the hamper. The same is true, for example, of my parents: they feel a great deal of pain today because I didn’t live up to their expectations as an adult daughter.
If they hadn’t expected me to submit to my father, they would not have been upset when I didn’t.
Have you ever heard the phrase “unmet expectations lead to frustration? I had a really interesting conversation with one of my husband’s cousins recently.
It turns out, like I expected, that she doesn’t feel at all upset by the fact that her husband dated other women before her, or by the fact that he had sex with other women before her.
Similarly, he is not upset by the fact that she dated around and had sex before he met her.
When I first started dating the man who is now my husband, I was horrified by the fact that he had dated other women before me, and been physically intimate with them.
That's why it's important to renew your commitment . Before a date, it's normal to spend a lot of time getting ready. But you also want to make sure you're spiritually prepared.
So spend at least as much time in prayer as you do in front of a mirror.
Rather than making the innocent expressions a mere prelude to the "heavier stuff," make the most of them. Express tenderness by simply putting your arms around each other.
Make sure a kiss communicates true feeling and isn't just the first step to further physical involvement. Every marathon runner knows that you don't use up your energy at the beginning of the race; you need most of it at the end.